“We’re banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it’

[The Great Aztec Joe]

“We’re banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it’s okay to hump, and it’s okay to bark, but both at the same time freaks people out."


shitmydadsays.com/?page=3

I like this site. This one comment had me laughing so hard tears were pouring down my face. I love dogs and have raised them for years. This was the funniest comment I have ever seen about dog behavior.

$#!+ My Dad Says is a Twitter feed started by Justin Halpern, who at the time was a semi-employed comedy writer. It consists of quotes made by Halpern's father, Sam, regarding random subjects. Halpern started the account on August 3, 2009, soon after moving from Los Angeles back to his parents' house in San Diego. He intended it only as a storage site for his father's salty comments, but a friend posted a link to it. Comedian Rob Corddry then tweeted the link, and that really "jump-started it" according to Halpern. In less than a month, the page was mentioned by The Daily Show, a popular San Francisco blog called Laughing Squid and Forgetting Sarah Marshall star Kristen Bell. As of 1 August 2010, the feed has nearly 1,600,000 followers.

[The Great Aztec Joe]

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or f x x x it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."

[The Great Aztec Joe]

"Who in the f x x x is tila tequila? Is she a stripper?...That's her? Yeah, that's a stripper, son, I don't give a $#!+ what you say."

"Love this Mrs. Dash. The bitch can make spices... Jesus, Joni (my mom) it's a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs. Dash isn't even real dammit!"

(left on answering machine) "Hello? Hello? It's Sam. Anyone there? Nobody checks this god damned thing. HELLO?! HELLO?! Screw it."

Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I'll answer.

"My flight lands at 9:30 on Sunday...You want to watch what? What the f x x x is Mad Men? I'm a mad man if you don't pick me the hell up."